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A Conversations With The Sun

Asomatous
Asomatous 04 Mar 2017 Tag: helios philosophos 2 comments, leave your own..
Conversations With The Sun
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Pt. 1 ~ What Can, Becomes


… yeah, but we really were
all born to live,
or else we never would have
lived at all. Depending on who 
you talk to of course, 
it’s highly philosophical.
I mean … 
we aren’t mirrors of our mothers, 
but the placental film
that first sacrificed itself for us….
the scent of meat’s decay….
its veins emptied and tight,
the glint of metal, 
cold for the first time ever
in an unfamiliar light.
Like us, it got tossed out with 
bloody water once the novelty wore off
and scripted smiles subsided.

{hydrogen, burning}

A bird flew by outside and 
we were taken,
direction dependent on
whether we were bathed 
or beaten.

A carrot or the string.

*sniff*

I mean…
we’re home movies
in the making, projected 
on a wall-like-remnant 
of a long-found kingdom 
lost again and again.
The worse the rating,
the more we choose to play
a role, and in greater increments,
but the movie doesn’t 
have to end like You say it does.

{unintelligible, deep voice in an angry, alien tongue}

Sure. For now this is us,
turning in towards Venus; 
using ourselves for a conditioned fix, 
abusing ourselves with the same old sticks 
that we were bludgeoned with.
It’s like … cutting off the fingers so the
hand can win.

{short grunt, fusion rumbling, followed by silence}

You know … when sleeping, none of it  
makes any fucking sense … the horror that, in waking
has become our second nature.

{demonic laughter in many voices}

Yeah, You laugh now because, 
before You came, things were different. 
Uugh, Your laugh is so bitter, and You can
do that here, where even air
still tastes like … 

something.

I’m not bitter, but I can choose to be,
and do, every time I seek out memories 
sure to … shatter
every victory I’ve ever won,
all the changes that I’ve made,
all the damage I’ve undone.
 
In those times when I mimic You,
I take for myself
Nothing.

{silence, followed by derisive, two-toned scolding}

We had a dream!
And were expected to proceed
despite profoundly lacking circumstance, 
but that doesn’t mean we won’t….
and it doesn’t mean we can’t.

In one dream,
You wore a symbiotic, 
ever-changing face,
jumping from
laughter into that too-bright
grimace, but
with every new rendition
a small girl would 
tug my sleeve. She had
long hair like mine but nuanced…
in ivy…..

I trusted her
even minus a mouth,
eyes closed.
In fact … I trusted her 
because of those, and
when she put her
finger where her mouth
should be
I stilled.

It took a long time
to remember that technique 
when You stole her from 
the scene, but if I can’t 
choose my own direction, then
I won’t choose anything.

{Growl of conclusion, long silence}

Maaan,
how curious,
how blissfully twisted things became
when I defied You,
when nowhere was the new direction
and reality the dream.
At last, being arid was okay, 
in those final hours
before losing atmosphere, 
with or without a last gasp 
of oxygen-starved air.
Venus rose ahead
and with it I could stand to … bear
being alone … or … together ….
whatever, I could stand to be me
without the misery,
soulside with Your light breaking
on my crocodile back.

I only woke up briefly
after that.

Words: 581 / Updated: 04 Mar 2017 / © Copyright

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1 Recent Comments

Posted (2)
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COMMENTS:
269
ButcherBelial 5 months, 2 weeks ago New Comment

It's quite a skill to write conversational poetry. I love how this reminds me of a text from you (in case you didn't know, fellow IC readers, Asomatous sends throwaway texts that are better written than 99% of the crap you find in mainstream press or any media really lol). And such conversation. I'm intrigued with this voice and looking forward to Pt 2. What can, will grow. There's no stopping you now :)

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Asomatous 5 months, 1 week ago

Ha! What can, will grow. I like that.

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Asomatous 5 months, 2 weeks ago New Comment

Supposed to be an audio file but I can't figure out how to do that. It loads for days on end with no result.

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COMMENTS:
269
5 months, 2 weeks ago

Not sure why it would do that. Lol sometimes I forget about the audio thing because my pc was having a hard time playing them for a time. I don't have a mic to record with so no way of testing :O Maybe it will work at some point. I'll look in the admin opts thing but I'm unsure what 99% of that is lol

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Asomatous 5 months, 1 week ago

No worries! :) It could be that I'm out here in BFE with a shitty signal.

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