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A Skyfall.

tpu
tpu 17 Mar 2012 Tag: Haiku/5-7-5 2 comments, leave your own..

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Twilight, bloodshot sk.eye.
Bat.ting black mascara pine.
Tear fall, river dry.

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Words: 15 / Updated: 17 Mar 2012 / © Copyright +tpu+

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Stryder 6 years, 7 months ago New Comment

love this...the dualistic sky/eye. This combination works well in presenting something emotional with a natural or panaramic view of something external, outside us...the way the eye/tear falls yet the river is dry is a great way of giving a pathetic fallacy feeling of the woodland; the heart of the wood, the soul of the trees, the tears of the river...etc. This one heaves with a sombre heart....yet the sparse haiku-istic presentation leaves enough of a scarce imprint to not over-indulge or become boombastic....instead it is like a trailing echo through dense trees, and you're left unsure which direction it came from and which direction it must go....

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soot 6 years, 7 months ago New Comment

This starts out bleak and distant, dire... a scarred, flickering hopelessly torn thing, this. You've set not only that dreary gothic stage but filled its veins with an utterly engrossing sense of dread, of desertion...its final blow is swift and merciless...and oh-so sweet.

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